As the Venture approaches ktimes has learned that one of the leaders is in a goblin. The Revd Ian left the Midlands amid accusations that he was in fact in the pay of Saruman and a member of the white hand gang and not human at all. One annonymous source told ktimes: "He really shouldn't be a vicar - he's short, squat and several kilos overweight (as the picture, left, confirms). That is surely proof that he is an orc." Ian refused to comment saying it was a matter of conscience and between him and the man in the tower of Orthanc.

Ian is currently annoying parishoners in Salford.